Evil turned into Good.

I am sitting under a porch looking at the sun make it's slow descent behind the buildings and the horizon.  I am listening to the crickets, frogs, and gentle rain all around me.  I feel the cool breeze on my face and I smell the mix of salt water, plants, and rain.  I am on the island of St. Vincent.  But it is much different than I had expected...  

Months ago, Pastor Jeff started talking about this trip.  I knew that I wanted to be one of the privileged teens from the beginning of it all.  I was excited, and I waited in anticipation.  Then, we found out who our whole team was going to be.  Then, I was absolutely thrilled.  Pastor Jeff, Michelle, JR, Debbie, Jenna, Jill, Carey, Lauren, Nicki, Bret, and the rest of my family...they are the perfect team.  Every single one of them are in my "Top Friends" list... Well, my mental one.  I was so excited to see what God had in store for all of us.  I just knew that He had something absolutley incredible planned for this week. But, God tends to work in ways that we never would have expected.

At 3:00 on Saturday morning, my family was doing all of the "last minute, rushed, throw whatever you can into a suitcase & hope it is the right weight" routine, when my mom told me that the flight the rest of the team was flying on was canceled. Completely canceled.  Ok, I thought.  They will still make it. No big deal, God is in control and will get them down there with us.  I held onto that all morning.  From Butler to Atlanta.  When we landed in Atlanta and found out that there was no possible way, I lost it.  Yes, I knew that God was in control.  I just thought that maybe, just maybe, His way could have been different and everything would have worked out just fine, too.  I was being stubborn, as I normally am.  I just could not shake this shock.  I was, in fact, a basket-case the whole entire day. All I did was cry and sleep.  I didn't understand why.  I didn't even want to understand at that point.  All I wanted was for my ENTIRE team to be on the airplane with me.  I missed them more than I ever missed anyone before.  I felt guilty every time a plane took off and landed because it was taking me further away & they were still stuck at home.  I was truly broken.  And all I could do was pray that God would use this week to put me back together again.  And He is.  He will continue to, as the week goes on.  Because that is how He works.  

I was teaching a Sunday School lesson to about 20 children yesterday when He slapped me in the face. In a gentle, loving way of course! :)  My story was about Joseph.  Now, keep in mind that I wrote this lesson 1/2 a week before this all happened.... I was telling them at the end about how Joseph was able to forgive his brothers because He knew that God meant the evil they had done to him for good.  Genesis 50:20 is the verse I used.  I realized that, even though Satan had meant this undone plan for evil, God means it for good. Instead of our church only having 1 team serving Him this summer, He now has two. He has given me a peace about it all, but I still have questions.  I still wonder, "why me?".  I still feel horrible that the others are not here. They are greatly missed.  Every moment.  Even when we were painting, I thought, "Wow.  I really miss the banter & laughter that would have been here." But, God is showing me many things in many different ways.  

Well, one set back of being here with pretty much JUST my family is, I am still being told to "Stop writing your 'book' and come help with dinner!" So, I had better get going...

Thanks for all of your prayers! They are greatly appreciated!

(P.S.) To the rest of my team in Iowa, I am pretty jealous that I am not there with you all right now!!! Have a great time!

-Sara-